Category Archives: Spirituality and experiences
.. Is how long it has been since I last wrote. I mean like a lot of things have happened during this year. We were to Morocco, my brother in law got married, my sister is having another kid, I started studying and other things.
I have finally got it!
PURE POSITIVE FOCUS
TAKING AN INSPIRED ACTION
These are the 2 things that I keep in my mind throughout the day.
-Pure Positive Focus-
When something unpleasant happens we tend to keep drowning in the negative focus. It feels like it takes over and you have no control. It seem impossible to think any good thought. But what you should do is to let go and give yourself into that negative feeling. And I mean – stop trying to make it go away or tell yourself that it is so bad to feel this negative emotion and that you SHOULD feel this and that instead… This will literally throw you into a negative spiral and it does not take long to end up in hopelessness and eventually depression. So when you feel negative emotion JUST STOP! And let yourself feel the anger or sadness with mindfulness, with awareness and curiosity even. Because the emotion DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. Listen to it as If the emotion is like a messenger (which it is) and you honour it as a guest into you house. As a foreign traveller – so you want to be open and really listen to what it has to say. Validate it. If it is here so it has a value! This will literally feel like a relief. I could talk more about this topic in greater detail and also actual steps that you can take to move into more positive vibration. Just remember -you cannot jump vibrations. It means a person who feels completely hopeless cannot make himself feel pure hope and excitement just like that. You go gradually. Always. Consciously or unconsciously. Here is the emotional vibration scale:
But talking about pure positive focus – you can always shift your focus to feel better when you focus on things that you are really happy about. I have a personal example – I felt really shitty going back to work after being sick because I had lost the motivation to work (Also actually the reason why I was prone to getting the virus in the first place). So I felt horrible. I could not work effectively because I did not see the point. I was just fed up. And I tried to distract myself with music and so on.. But it just kept coming back. At one point I felt simply paralysed because it was literally a war zone inside of me and I was pulling myself emotionally to the opposite directions. Then I watched Teal’s video which actually talked about key of happiness – Pure positive focus and taking an inspired action. And then I just accepted the feeling of being fed up and disappointed. I took time to understand and accept the traveller inside of my heart. I still felt shitty about the work but I felt a big relief. Suddenly I wasn’t running against a tornado. At that moment it felt as a good time to shift focus. So I took a pen and a paper and started to write the things that I was truly grateful for in that moment (You are not trying to tell yourself to feel grateful, you actually want to feel that way). It could be anything. Usually it is the easiest to write about the small things – small, easy but they do the trick. So few of the things I wrote – ” I feel happy that I am sitting alone and listening to music and no one is bothering me with request that I would not want to respond to. I am grateful to have this moment to myself and being able to sit with my emotions because they matter to me.” ”I feel truly grateful for not having to work a job where I have to wear a uniform and pretend I am happy when I am not (I was thinking about my previous job at the casino).” And you can continue as long as you can and want. But the shift happened – I felt like I was controlling the tornado and it was carrying me into a future that I felt optimistic about, even a bit excited. I was really proud of myself. Especially because I used to live in these negative spirals all the time where I would drop so low as powerlessness/depression/guilt etc. Anyway – my focus changed – it now was a pure positive focus. I ended up going home feeling quite all-right and the next day I got good news that made me genuinely feel motivated about work again!
-Taking an inspired action-
This was a big struggle for me. I have always ignored my needs. I have lived my life just to please others – friends, family, teachers and so on.. Without even really realizing it. And sometimes I got really angry and wanted to stand for myself but at the end I just blamed myself for being so selfish. Our society exalts sacrificing. Hate it. Worst. Thing. Ever. This is reason why I conditioned myself and made myself believe that there is something WRONG WITH ME if I have my own desires and If I follow my dreams, needs and wants. I never really had anyone by my side who would be like ” Go Daiga! Chase your dreams!” It was supposed to be parents who inspire you and stand behind you no matter what. Yeah well.. Not in this time and age. They are dealing with their own problems and consequences from their parent’s fuck-ups (Everyone is). I healed my severe self-guilt with Completion Process (Read more about it here) (And on Teals website) and now I am actively learning to listen to my heart. When I suddenly get an inspiration or get excited about some idea or activity I take responsibility for it and make sure I follow it – this is taking an inspired action. It is important to differ this from feeling urged to do something – this is the opposite because it comes from a negative space and so it yields negative results. Last few years it had been very hard for me to take inspired actions. I still tend to tell myself all the reasons why the idea is not that good or maybe too ambitious or something. Basically my mind is trying to find all kinds of reasons and excuses because it thinks that I will somehow get hurt by following my desires. The funny thing is – The purpose of life IS TO FOLLOW YOUR DESIRES, WANTS AND NEEDS. And always prioritize your life by YOUR OWN values and live in accordance with them. If you don’t – you will find yourself feeling bored, discouraged, given up and you will try to seek distractions in food, porn and video games etc. because it is painful to think about the fact that you are not following your heart. And your heart will keep reminding you its desires throughout your life, but as you listen to it less and less, it becomes more and more silent almost impossible to hear. I did not say anything new, right? Yes, but the thing is that most of us don’t really get the meaning of this or choose to ignore it because its painful. People usually understands this when they are 40. Suddenly they have a newsflash that they hate their life because they have been making the wrong decisions – not for themselves but in favour of others. And it is a bit harder to become that world famous painter when you have a mortgage and a stressful career at some fancy world corporation and every aspect of your life has been made in order with the fake life that you are living. So I have chosen not to wait for my mid-life crisis. I am in my twenties and want to make it right – live a happy life by following my desires right now.
Heart: I really want to drive to the mall !!!!
Mind: Are you serious? It’s Wednesday evening and the shops close in 2 hours!
Heart: But I just want to have fun and buy some Christmas gifts for friends and family. Maybe have a cup of tea in a cafe..
Mind: There is a lot of time to do that another day. And you have a lot of teas in the kitchen. Why do you want to pay for a cup of tea there?
Heart: I don’t know…. I just thought that it could be a fun way how to spend this evening and the thought of it makes me feel very excited. You know how much I love to walk through shops and look for interesting gifts..
Mind: No! Not today! Go wash some dishes and work on your project or something! And make a tea!
Mind: Dishes and tea!
I wish everybody to have the COURAGE to say YES to the heart!
Be happy – Watch this awesome video on Teals channel.
Life is truly like an old woman’s boobs.
Sometimes they’re in the sky and sometimes they’re lying basically on the ground. Right now my life is all over the place. And I just can’t really understand what the F is going on. I mean.. I was about to kill myself for few months ago and then I hit the rock bottom where I understood that even death wouldn’t be a solution because I knew that I would reincarnate and come to this shitty weird ass reality again.. So why even bother, right? If I have to do this, I could might as well try to do this the first time (even though its probably not my first life, lol.. I kinda know that.. cause I’ve meditated and went to my previous life, but ok.. that is a different story)
That could spare me some time, few lifetimes.. Thats silly, Daiga.. the time does not exist for universe.. even if it would, it definitely does not mean shit to universe, because it cares only about EXPANSION and trying to figure out what it is through weird ass experiences, like human life on Earth. I’m sorry guys.. It seems its so hard to stay on track here.. As I said ” all over the place”.
Aaaaanyway.. So yeah.. Then 4 days after my 22nd birthday on August the 6th, I pay 250 EUR to this Horvatic woman who is one of Teal Swan’s Completion Process practicioneers. I know, you think that it is insane. Well being dead inside is not fun either. Its not like I had any value for anything at that time. And money was no exception. I had to at least try. And I did. It was ground braking!!! I could never EVER imagine that such a simple process can literally change you in an instance. But I did not expect anything less from a process that was put together by Teal herself. After all, she is the wisest person that I have ”seen”. All her teaching have been a big help and a deep understanding about me, my life and others around me, and the source itself (Universe, God.. or u can call it whatever u want). That day I got rid of my self blame for good! This was liberating! And I mean self blame to a degree that I truly believed that I don’t deserve to walk on this Earth. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
I will forever remember that day! It will soon be 3 months already and I have not had any suicidal thought (like a genuine one) ever since. And it is not like I am trying not to think about it or something.. NO – I truly don’t feel that way about myself and my existence any more. ^^ Since then I have done the Completion Process (CP for short) several times on myself. I could have saved those 250 EUR and learned to do it myself, but I just didn’t want to wait. I think I will go into details about CP some other time.
So now… I have put some IMPORTANT pieces back to my being (oh, you know, nothing special.. JUST FEELING OK WITH BEING ALIVE WITHOUT WAITING FOR THE JUDGEMENT HAMMER TO HIT ME) and I have more energy, I have more positive thoughts and I am just ready to finally move on with my life and take the next step. The problem is – I don’t really know what that is. Also the marriage is a struggle right now, which makes things a bit more complicated. I feel a bit stuck, a little bit afraid and just uncertain about how I should proceed here. I want to take control, but I don’t know where I want to turn the wheel to. I guess I’m waiting for the Universe to show me the way that I absolutely DO NOT want to take, as it always does 🙂 She is thoughtful like that. Only in darkness can you understand what light is. I guess this is the inspirational quote for Universe 😀 I also use it though.
I have decided to make several posts today. And I feel like starting with the topics that are more philosophical and creative. Always when I have not been writing here for a while I tend to write a list with the highlights that are important to write about. So I guess I will dive right into it:
First thing that I want to write about is ”PRISCA THEOLOGIA”. I found a video which is actually divided into 2 parts and is a lecture in a university, I guess. So if you are a person who is constantly trying to understand more about the universe I recommend you to watch these:
And if you have not seen spirit science talking about human history I will put a link right here as well:
I know that these videos are quite long but lets be frank – there is nothing short and fast about our history and how everything sums up, so I expect only the ones who truly seek answers to watch both videos. Expand your horizon. I did and its amazing.
There was a time when I was convinced that Christianity is the answer to everything. You know the holy book is great, if you have read it you cannot deny its value, but there is this sentence in the bible Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” So I kinda of talked to God in my mind as in a prayer and said ” I know that all I have learned about Christianity is great and the idea is also great, but when I watch some videos ( at that time it is was spirit science’s all videos) I just have this feeling that this makes so much sense and so knowing the fact that Hebrew was a complicated language, I always had the feeling that the things we read in the bible are not what there is to see, but that there is a bigger picture that people refuse to see due to holding on too tight to modern Christian dogma. So I said to God ” Sorry that I am researching and reading about the things that make sense to me, but you have said that I can seek and then I will find..” Actually the fact itself that God does not want me to expand my knowledge does not make sense! If so.. then it is not the God that I want to believe in. So I began my journey and I found mind blowing information. I have gathered my hole picture for now form spirit science, Teal Swan and Prisca Theologia. The only thing that I am not sure to agree with is what the man who talked about prisca theologia says: that Jesus was not a real person. I lean more towards what Teal have said, that Jesus was a real person, and he had achieved high level of spirituality including the fact that he was an alchemist and at that time Jesus tried to show every body that ”The God is within you” and as he was talking about it and doing miracles people were not open to the idea enough and so they understood that Jesus must be the God himself. And you know where this has lead to today. People still believe that there is a person that will set them free and so on. But it is not the Jesus himself, it is you who create everything that there is. And in Prisca Theologia videos you can also learn interesting information that there was a deeper meaning behind the stories in Bible. I felt so happy when I actually found facts that support my theory that there should be a bigger picture.
And there is, so enjoy! 🙂
Is it really that important to live the life until the end? What if we finish early?
Sometimes I cannot even grasp the teachings and enlightenment that I have learned and experienced by watching Teal Swan’s videos. I’ve been watching her videos for more than a year now and when I look at myself back then, I realize how much I have changed. The things that I have achieved. She talks about the things that I and everyone on this earth can relate to. No one could help me the way that she did. She gave me the chance to really understand what is going on in my life as well as in my internal world. One of the most valuable things that I’ve learn is shadow work and core beliefs. We all go on in our lives hiding behind our true emotions and our true selves.. What is more.. we do not even notice it and even if we do sometimes notice it.. we just don’t know what to do with .. those emotions..
I warmly recommend everyone of you to watch this latest video but do not just stop there. If you see something that catches you eye, go ahead and watch it. Because this video is like learning about adding in maths.. but if you stop here.. you will never (hopefully later.. not never ) learn about multiplying and other great stuff in maths.
A small devil on Daigas shoulder: Great job Daiga.. really? Maths? Was that the best comparison you had? You know that like half of the humanity hates maths, right?