Kaspars and I spent holidays at my parents house and we also prepared some gifts for my two assumed-to-be best friends. For some reason I didn’t feel like meeting them because I just wasn’t sure whether they really want to see me. So we made gifts and then went out to deliver them and put those gifts in the mailbox.
Few days ago I met two friends that I went to high school with. It was nice to finally meet them, to chat and see how they are doing. Everything was great. The thing that surprised me though was sentence that one of them said: ” I know what we can talk about – we can talk about what we do not like about our boyfriends, it is always fun”. Well.. the first thing I said was ” I am not doing that, sorry… I can listen and maybe give you guys some advice.. but not this.. ah-a!! (as I shook my head)”
This was something I thought about later.. I really think they are cool girls, for real, but I did not expect that. It seemed like something out of ”Cosmopolitan” magazine ( and I am not a fan ;D ) .. Do you want to know my thoughts on this subject? Well, here it goes:
I cant f***ing understand those women who can complain about their men in such pretentious ways. They go like” Omg.. I cant stand when he says that and does that…” And the silly part is – what does that say about yourself? Well.. pretty much that you don’t have the guts to leave him or you are so dumb to stay with him. Plus… women should… no… scratch that!! Women must understand that Nobody is perfect; We are here to develop our personalities; and finally – You are in a relationship and you need to support your man and make him feel as the best guy in the world ( which he should be FOR YOU.. because you love him ) and that includes when you are with your friends.. especially then! Has complaining EVER solved anything? It doesn’t solve it makes everyone feel miserable and that’s it.
All this has made me think about people that are around me.. including friends. So the real situation is that I don’t have pretty much anyone I can share my life daily and I just don’t know how that happened. I have heard about this and the reason may be that I change and people around me don’t or they change in Not the right direction.. so they simply think that I am somehow changed and like… worse or something.. but there is nothing bad about it actually. So now I live in the big city and it is hard to find a person that I have something in common more than hair color, school that we went to or memories. I think differently from most of the people around me.. I think it is okay.. but I want to find that small part that can agree with me on bigger things. Well there is of course Kaspars. He isn’t just the lover.. he is a friend that I can talk to and discuss things and have even the same opinion on them.
Another problem is that people forget about me. This is what I really want to understand. How can they do that? Was I really such a bad person?
In conclusion, I want to make new friends. Some of them should be married couples because we are soon getting married too ourselves. I want to find people with open minds, new experience and simply POSITIVE.. I want to learn from them something new! But how do I do that? It will take time to find that and to feel comfortable to talk about my inner experiences and beliefs.